


I need to let you go

by Fangirlqueen87



Category: Emmerdale, robron
Genre: Heartbreak, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-13
Updated: 2015-08-13
Packaged: 2018-04-14 12:33:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,982
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4564818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fangirlqueen87/pseuds/Fangirlqueen87
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Robert moves back into the pub, but how will Aaron react?</p>
            </blockquote>





	I need to let you go

**Author's Note:**

> Set after the 12th of August, I didn't know where Robert would be staying so I thought that this might happen if Diane said he could stay with her again.

Robert stood by the kitchen sink in the back room of the pub. He felt like he was intruding even though Diane made it clear that he wouldn't be in the streets, after everything she had been through she still was being her usual self. Still caring when no else did. Roberts mind raced back to the last time he had been in the pub. The harsh words Aaron said that plagued his mind with guilt and regret. ‘ _Just go_ ’ he remembered it so clearly, it was ingrained in his memory along with all the other moments. He starred at the sofa recalling the time that he had asked Aaron to run away with him, thinking back now he realised what an idiot he had been. Throwing money at another one of his problems like always. Robert shook his head and sighed ‘ _if only we'd had gone then’_ Robert thought to himself.

  
As Robert turned away from the sofa, a familiar laugh caught his attention.  
“Okay love, see you later.” It was Chas. He could recognise her cackle from a mile away. Robert rolled his eyes and prepared himself for a talking to.

  
As Chas entered the room her smile instantly faded as she was met by Robert standing awkwardly near the sink,  
“What are you doing in my pub?!” Her face was full of rage as she stood awaiting an answer.

  
Robert shuffled his feet slightly,  
“Diane … she said it was alright if I … if I came through.” It wasn't a lie but it felt like one.

  
Chas marched over to the kitchen area,  
“Well it's my pub n’all and you're not welcome.” Her thoughts turned to Aaron coming home to find Robert in his kitchen. Her heart pounded.

  
“Listen I know… but I want to be there for.”

  
“Oh save it Rob! We all know you don't give a damn about anyone apart from yourself!” Chas was even closer to Robert now, looking him straight in the eye.

  
Robert was looking straight back now, no longer willing to be civil,  
“I care about my family a damn sight more than you do! I'm not the one who abandoned my kid for years.” Robert instantly regretted it.

  
Chas felt herself explode with anger,  
“HOW DARE YOU!”, the door flew open and Diane walked in hesitantly,  
“What an earth is going on?”

  
Robert sighed as he saw how troubled Diane looked,  
“No I'm just .. I'm just leaving” Robert picked up his coat and headed towards the door.

  
Chas was still breathing heavily,  
“Well… yeah, good riddance to ya.”

  
Diane stood by the door,  
“Oi your not going anywhere.”

  
Robert stopped in his tracks and faced Diane,  
“What, listen I’ll come to see you tomorrow when no one else is here.” He shot Chas a look who put her head down as if she couldn't bare to look at him a second longer.

  
Diane sighed heavily,  
“Listen to me you have nowhere else to go and you're like a son to me. After … after Val I need all the family I've got.” Diane then turned to Chas, "And I know that I'm being incredibly selfish love.. after what Aaron went through.”

  
The mention of Aaron’s name made Robert’s jaw tense.

  
Diane continued,  
“But it will only be for a few weeks, until he gets himself sorted out. And he'll be gone throughout the day, you won't even see him that much.”

  
Chas felt her blood boil, after what she had said to Chrissie about leaving him and now he's staying in her home,  
“One word … you even look at Aaron and I swear you'll have me to answer to. You've messed him around enough.”

  
Robert felt his heart beat ten times faster, not seeing Aaron had been torture but he had to do it, he had to agree- for Aaron's sake,  
“Of course … I don't want to cause him anymore pain believe me.”

Chas saw the tears fill at the rims of Robert’s eyes, and walked away.

 

“Hiya love it's me um … listen don't freak out but … well.” Chas had tried to send three voicemails to Aaron explaining why Robert would be a the breakfast table the next morning but none of the words came out right.

  
The door flew open as Aaron walked in with tons of paperwork from the scrap yard to sort out.

  
“Hello love I was er just leaving you a voicemail.”

  
Aaron shoved the paperwork on the table and poured himself a glass of orange juice,  
“Sorry I turned it off, didn't want any distractions.”

  
Chas stammered as she tried her hardest to formulate the correct sentence, as Aaron sat down amongst the sea of paperwork, out of the corner of his eye Aaron saw Robert’s brown leather shoes sitting by the bin.

  
“What the hell are these doing here?” Aaron pointed at the shoes angrily. Aaron instantly knew who’s they were.

  
Chas got up from her seat and walked slowly over to the table sighing,  
“Love I know, he's stopping here.” Aaron felt his heart race, the last time Robert was here he ended up running himself into a hosptial bed. The thought of seeing him everyday was enough to make angry tears fill his eyes. Chas couldn't help but stretch a hand out supportively as Aaron tried hard to contain his agony.

  
“Diane wants him here I bet, listen she's just lost Val… I'm not… just don't make a big deal out of it alright.” Aaron dived out of the room and raced upstairs. He couldn't let Robert see him this weak, this pathetic.

 

It was ten o'clock, Robert has been out all day mopping about in town, searching for somewhere more permanent to stay. Aaron was the only thing on his mind, the thought of making him hurt again was too much to bare. He hated himself for having to depend on Diane when she needed him more. Robert approached the back door of the pub discreetly, praying that Aaron had already gone up to bed. He tiptoed across the hallway and entered the living room, slouching down lazily on the empty sofa.

Robert let out a sigh of relief as he realised Aaron was out of sight,  
“Thank god.” He whispered. Robert caught a glimpse of himself in the reflection of the television. His hair was pushed forward and messy, his clothes were crumpled and tatty. Robert chucked he had lost everything and even now he still was only worrying about materialistic things.

The floorboards creaked as Robert heard someone come down the stairs faintly.

  
“So it's true then.” Robert felt a lump grow in his throat, it was Aaron. Robert bent his head round slowly as he looked at Aaron standing by the door. Aaron’s eyes were red raw, instantly Robert could tell that he had been crying.

Robert sighed as he saw Aaron awaiting an answer anxiously,  
“Yeah, I'm sorry.”

  
Aaron smirked,  
“No you're not, if you were you wouldn't show your face round here.”

  
Robert knew he was right,  
“I know, look I had no where else to go and Diane, she needs me.”

  
Aaron stood more relaxed now leaning against the door confidently,  
“Oh of course because you've always looked out for your own right?”

  
Robert stood up, looking Aaron straight in the eye  
“I mean there was that time you slept with your brothers wife.” Aaron began to list. “Oh and when you set fire to your brothers caravan, ruined his wedding ring and oh yeah what was that other thing you did?”

  
Roberts thoughts raced to Katie as he walked towards the table,  
“Don’t.” It was all Robert could say.

  
Aaron moved into the living room now, resting on the side of the sofa,  
“I told you to do one mate, but you couldn't give me that could ya.”

  
“Aaron I know alright you have no idea how sorry I am, I hate what I've done to you.” Robert felt the tears fill in his eyes as he began to explain his guilt “I never … never meant for any of this, you were… you weren't meant to mean anything.”

  
Aaron felt tears fall from his own eyes,  
“I didn't, not really. I was always just Aaron, just Aaron the local damaged mechanic. You know people round here know me, after everything that's happened here.” Aaron felt sick as he thought back to Jackson, to what he did. “And … they accepted it. My family accepted me being gay eventually, but never been special. Not to anyone, I mean Jackson left me didn't he, the one person who ever really loved me.” Aaron was struggling now, resting his head in his hands as he shook his head desperately.  
Robert couldn't look at him, this.

This mess that Chas was describing ‘ _it's different when he's with me’_ that’s what he said once when Chas told him how much he has ruined Aaron’s life. Robert starred in utter shock as he realised what she meant. All Aaron wanted was to be loved, that's all he ever wanted and Robert has taken it all for granted, he had destroyed him entirely.

  
“Aaron…” Robert moved closer now kneeling down resting his hand in Aaron's knees, “I've… I've always loved you, I'm in love with you. Falling in love with you wasn't supposed to happen, I … I need you to know that… I'll never stop.” Robert whispered into Aaron's ear as he heard Aaron sob quietly.

  
Robert’s thoughts overwhelmed Aaron, all he wanted was for this feeling of guilt to fade. The heartache to stop completely. Aaron lifted his head up to meet Robert’s. He could see the sincerity glowing in Robert’s eyes. In that moment everything was still, as Robert and Aaron knelt opposite each other resting their foreheads on the others, Aaron felt numb.

  
“I.. I won't ever get you out of my head Aaron, but I need to let you go. You deserve someone better… so much better.” Robert whispered breaking the silence and lifting his head away from Aaron's. Aaron opened his eyes slowly, watching as Robert wiped away his tears slowly.

  
Aaron gulped,  
“I don't hate you Robert… I never could but I can't ever forgive you for what you did to Katie or Paddy, or me.” Aaron sighed heavily watching Robert digest his thoughts.

  
Robert smiled weakly, knowing Aaron could never hate him was enough to make his heart flutter slightly. Robert slowly walked over to Aaron who knelt deflated on the floor, his eyes were filled with tears again,  
“You were wrong Aaron.” Robert knelt down once more. “What you said about you not being special...about you being damaged. Your not, your this grumpy, irritating, stroppy mechanic.” Robert laughed noticing Aaron's growing smile. “Who has the biggest that's not what I see... I see a man who has had such a tough time but is so strong, so loyal, who dosen't know how important he is to so many people, who won't ever … ever know how special he is to me.” Robert felt a tear drop down his eye as he smiled weakly at Aaron. As Robert got up to leave he kissed Aaron's forehead softly.

  
As Robert headed towards the door, he turned back once more,  
“This whole living arrangement, I'll be out of your way as soon as I can. I need to let you go.”

  
Aaron felt his heart ache again, Robert was being ‘ _his Robert_ ’ again. The Robert he fell in love with, the Robert he loved with all his heart. Aaron wanted to hold him close and them push him away again as he remembered what he was capable of. His heart loved him but his head hated him, and that would never change.

  
Aaron nodded his head agreeing with Robert,  
“It's for the best.” Aaron said weakly forcing himself to look Robert in the eye as he stood by the door.


End file.
